Dream Come True: This Kid Really Did Forget to Wear Pants to School

King Solomon Stumped as Both Women Deny Wanting Half of Baby

Jerusalem – King Solomon today found his judgment stymied as both women claiming to be the mother of a disputed child insisted that he not chop the boy in half so as to share him equally. "I was sure this would work," said the monarch, renowned for his wisdom.

Microsoft Thrilled to Learn $14B Investment Now Generating Erotica

Satya Nadella, CEO of Microsoft, today confirmed that his company was "thrilled" to learn that OpenAI would now be loosening restrictions on adult content. Microsoft owns a 27% stake in the AI business after investing $1B and later $13B, and has exclusive access to its AI for several

Joe Rogan Fans Stunned as Host Questions Guest’s Conspiracy Theory

Key Change Launches Song from Ordinary to Unexceptional

Zoom Meeting Just AI Note Taking Apps

Republicans Outraged by Epstein Emails Published in Clear Violation of Legal Footer

"That’s a GREAT question," ChatGPT Gushes to Local Moron

Insisting that this was "exactly the question to ask," ChatGPT proceeded to breathlessly extoll the brilliance of Brian Durphy, a local moron who had just typed "bt why tho?" into the chat prompt.

Maturing Buffalo Bills Change to the Buffalo Williams

Creeping Smile Signals Stephen Miller Again Daydreaming of Deporting Dora the Explorer

Nancy Pelosi, Pioneering Investment Genius, to Retire

Nancy Pelosi, the "female Warren Buffet", today announced her retirement. Starting with $600,000 in 1987, Pelosi and her husband grew their stock portfolio to over $130m — a return of 16,930%, beating the Dow Jones index by over 8x. In the last decade alone she has consistently

Newly Victorious Democrats Seize Initiative, Failure

Responding to an overwhelming sweep of the off-year elections, Senate Democrats today pressed their advantage by giving into Republican demands to end the government shutdown without extending healthcare subsidies. "We wanted to wait until the election to see what the people had to say," said one senator who